a season for reflection

the first day of chinese new year was about a week ago. people are supposed to be happy, ushering the new year of the lunar calendar. but most of us greet people with 'get rich' greetings. it's not inapropriate, but i see the new year as a much more important event. i heard that only a few countries actually greet people with 恭喜发财. namely hong kong, singapore, and malaysia. i think it's mainly due to the influence we get from hong kong. anyway, that's not the main reason for this post.

the main thing is, chinese new year seem to be a season where i reflect on my life. it's quite a sad season for me. seeing people growing, seeing people do what they want, i'll wander off in my own thoughts. the first thing i saw was the chances people got. alot of people get what they want. they have the chance which i crave to have. they have the opportunity to go great heights. they are successful in their own ways. they are great in their ways. some are making good money, some are going overseas for their studies. many don't have to worry bout their life i guess. but as for me, i'm unsure where i'm heading. i'm not sure where i am going with all these. the burden is quite heavy. but i'm not complaining. but when i see people walking on without burden, i start to think of my heavy burden. i begin to realize the chances which i never had, the opportunity which i long to have, but never came. the happiness that i crave for, but never satisfied. the hunger for answers, but the questions are always left unanswered.

happy life or not, this is my life. i'm no whiner. i'm just doing my job, and trying to complete it the best i can.

lastly, 新年快乐，新春快乐! hope everyone will have a healthy, happy, bright year this year.